A Man and His Van

Han Solo has the Millennium Falcon. Mrs. Frizzle has the Magic School Bus. The Lone Ranger has his horse, Silver. And Kicker Kalozdi has his BEAST. 

While this 4x4 camper van is lacking a hyperdrive to hit lightspeed, and does not have any magical properties of transformation nor the ability to trot over to me if I merely whistle, this beautiful Storyteller-built machine and I have developed a truly symbiotic relationship. Every single day I rely on the van for one thing or another to get shit done. It is not only a workhorse that I rely on for my day job, but also the best damn grocery-run rig made. And on weekends, it is our family’s adventure wagon taking all the things needed for our family of 4 to experience the epic and “tell better stories.” But the van needs me, to house it, to care for it, and to keep it ready to roll. It really is a beautiful relationship. 

I am a professional events manager. It is a ridiculously exhausting but equally rewarding job. Work has me on the road about a quarter of the year. This van is often my home away from home. It not only provides me lodging but more importantly, it brings me a sense of comfort when I am away from my wife and two little kids. Besides the lodging and comfort the BEAST brings, it also has the capability of operating as an efficient HQ when my home office is a thousand miles away. The layout of the van allows for my bed to act as a standing desk for my laptop, which is ideal after hours of driving in the saddle. Being able to hose down in the shower, means I can go for a run at any time and not worry about being stinky at one of my events. And the cargo space on this thing means I always have the ability to carry last minute event swag and merch. 

Running errands with the BEAST is legitimately a fun activity. The attention when this thing pulls into any big-box-mart parking lot is a nice ego boost but really it is all the features that the BEAST brings that make it valuable. The height alone ensures I have the best opportunity to spot coveted shopping mall parking spots, and the way the beds folds up means I never have to worry about buying anything too big during a Costco run. The freezer I keep in the back is always ready to ensure frozen foods stay frozen on the way home. And having an on-board potty has been a lifesaver on more than one occasion.  

The primary sales pitch from Storyteller is these vans are the perfect adventure rigs and that is 100% accurate. But with our family having two small children this has become even more the case. Our fridge is stocked with kid-friendly-snacks, the various pouches are packed with toys and stuffed animals, and the overhead bins have backup clothes, towels and blankets. The ability to stand inside the van and get our kids ready to take on the day while INSIDE the van (hats and sunglasses during the summer and jackets and boots in the winter) before heading out has been game-changing. The capabilities of the MB chassis gets us up to the really good camp sites so our family gets to experience the beautiful world in the best way possible and away from the condensed campsites. And when it is time to sit outside and have a family dinner, I swear our BEAST’s profile always seems to cast the perfect shadow to keep us in the cool, in its peaceful shade. I can’t help but grin to myself every time I am on the road with the family thanks to how the BEAST just takes care of us all.

One of the lessons I tell my 4 year old son before we hit the road for an adventure is, take care of the BEAST and it will take care of you. This is sound advice for everyone, not just toddlers. Treat your van with love and respect and it will ensure your trips are going to run smooth. I stick rigidly to the advised MB maintenance schedule and only ever let pros like the awesome people at Warner Vans service the van. The potty is emptied, the fridge is wiped clean, and I pack down all the camping gear after each trip. The van brings my whole family so much joy, so taking care of it in the best possible way is paramount to me. I make sure the BEAST is loved and it loves us back every single time tenfold. 

The BEAST is not just a vehicle but a true member of the family.